WHY MEN SHOULD FIND GRANNY PANTIES SEXY (…and women should wear them)

                             

I will start off with saying that I have a lingerie fetish. As a post-burlesque dancer and occasional alternative model I enjoy choosing to indulge in objectification. In a world where sex sells anything and material representation has power, I feel liberated as a woman to take control over what is known as the ‘male gaze.’ I realize it’s going to happen whether I am interested in or not. No, I’m not settling…I am owning it because a part of me ENJOYS it. This ties into being a ‘sex-positive feminist’ which just proposes that a girl isn’t demeaning herself if she is finding pleasure in her own brand of raunchy. Now while this a complicated feminist topic and it’s own blog post unto itself, I want you to understand that I don’t think women should stop dressing fancy and ‘sexy’-like. I loves me some hot dress-up and I’m not burning my thongs and garter-belt anytime soon. But men! Please recognize that many women feel pressure to constantly appear this way. To perpetually dress well and be ogled as sexual objects. Just go to your closest airport. These women might not even be totally conscious of it, but they were lead to believe by their parents and peers, television and marketing, that this is how they get dudes to like you (and depending on the dude, this is definitely true). They think this is how they have worth.

As women, we are hard on each other and even harder on ourselves. As I was walking down the street earlier this week I overheard a conversation between a girl and a guy as they were strolling behind me. They were discussing gender and body issues,  “[Straight] Women don’t obsess about men’s bodies, they obsess about other women’s bodies and their own body,” the girl stated. He replied, “That’s funny because [straight] men don’t care about each other’s bodies, only women’s.” Is that funny or is that just an evil double standard? As a bisexual or heteroflexible female, I love women’s bodies. But I am still a woman regardless of sexual preference. Despite finding the women sexually attractive I have all too often caught myself comparing my parts to theirs. It’s a negative habit that I try to avoid. If we put so much stress on our bodies why do we have to complicate our image so much further?

So, I dare you to develop an attraction to granny panties. I want you to drool over mom jeans. Some girl wore her comfy sneaks out to the bar? I want you to ask for her number. Why? Because #1. Sexy is a state of mind, #2. Feeling comfortable…well, um, it feels comfortable and #3. She’s more than how she dresses.

                                       

#1. Sexy Is A State Of Mind

People have equated dressing well to confidence. Not only that, but people believe that you don’t even respect yourself if you’re not dressing to impress. Don’t believe me? Watch an episode of ‘What Not To Wear’ which is basically like a homo-fashionista hazing ritual. Sure, when a gal gets vixenized she might do that model stride and hip-sway, strutting down the street in her cleavage-touting dress. She’s all, “Shiiit I know I look good!” She might exude that untouchable air so many men find attractive, however, in many ways that is a mask. You might not seriously feel that way about yourself when you haven’t spent two hours getting ready. What takes real courage and confidence is feeling just as hot in your sweaty gym clothes. ‘Cause sexy is a state of mind. At the end of the day when you’re alone with yourself and you don’t have any fans giving you the up-down or people giving you flowery compliments, it’s on you to feel right in your body. No one can do that for you. Sex appeal is so subjective yet distorted and manipulated in our culture, no one can win – men or women. So understand that none of that b.s. is real.

#2. Feeling Comfortable Feels Comfortable

Wouldn’t you agree? Over years of (un)learning how to not give a fuck, I have found solace in fruit of the loom. Once-upon-a-time (5 months ago) I did not have a single pair of underwear that wasn’t shiny, lacy or a g-string. Now a guy is lucky if I put on special panties when I know I am most-certainly sleeping with him that night. Some of you, men or women, might look down upon that. But guess what? Part of really respecting women is wanting them to feel good. Sure it feels good to dress-up sometimes, but most of the fashions that are typically attractive for women to wear are also very uncomfortable. Push-up bras, high heels and movement-restricting mini-skirts. Since the corset-training Victorian era and traditional foot-binding in early Imperial China, women have had to experience pain for beauty. Now it’s butt squats, waxing, tweezing and more to be considered beautiful. What mostly feels good on a regular basis is wearing breathable cotton and a bra without underwire.

                              

Men: DID YOU KNOW most ‘sexy’ underwear causes yeast infections? The material is not sensitive to many women’s delicate regions and is not breathable making an environment conducive to yeast growth. What’s sexier, cotton underwear or…well, you know? Didn’t like that grody visual? Yeah, neither does she. Much like a healthy shoe is sexier than a hunchback from wearing heels.
A girl who is treating herself well and allowing her body to feel good in what she is wearing isn’t something to scoff at. That’s when the mask is off, and her genuine sexy self can make you hard.

 

3. She’s More Than How She Dresses

Moreover, she’s more than just her body. I really don’t need to delve any deeper into this.
I will leave you with this heartbreaking video interview with Dustin Hoffman on the negative effects of our societies brainwashing on men and women alike.

In conclusion, Women: although I think taking care of yourself is healthy, that looking presentable in the appropriate formats is beneficial and that dressing provocatively can be fun, I encourage you to love and accept who you are regardless so as not to be susceptible to only one way of thinking or behaving. Own what you got, all of the time. Don’t cave into the pressure that just being who you are isn’t good enough. Don’t be ashamed for the natural desire to feel comfortable. Don’t feel like you always should look polished. Listen to your body and your needs.

Men: Be conscious and mindful of your thought patterns. Do some homework into your turn-on’s and turn-off’s and asses the deeper meaning behind them. Why is subject a) hot to you and subject b) less than attractive? Is this attraction coming from you naturally or someone or something else that taught you this? Dig in and discover to see if there are more ways you might be able to open your mind. Most of all, think from her shoes. How would any of this make you feel?

As we start to build more compassion for the duress put on each gender to fulfill a certain standard dictated by society then can we start seeing people more as simply people. The ability to just enjoy being will give way to a more realistic and attainable happiness that can flow naturally without fear of judgement and not being accepted.

Enjoy yourselves.